Case Study: The administrative nightmare that followed my husband's death

By Muriel Porter

For the past eight years — since my husband's Alzheimer's diagnosis — I have been managing all our finances.

When he was diagnosed, we had immediately set in place enduring powers of attorney and guardianship arrangements, as well as ensuring that all utilities and bank accounts were in joint names.

He already had a straightforward will, leaving everything to me, and he had always dutifully signed superannuation documents to say I was to inherit his super after his death.

Seems as if we had everything in place, doesn't it? That's what I thought — until he died two months ago.

I am overwhelmed now not just with grief — that is bad enough — but with a nightmare of administration.

And the worst of it is with his superannuation pensions.

Payments simply stopped

Once the two super funds were notified of my husband's death, the pensions simply stopped.

Yes, stopped, without any warning, without any notification. The monthly pension payments are no longer turning up.

If I didn't have small pensions myself, a little money in the bank, and a daughter ready to help if needed, I would be in a very dire financial situation.

Even so, things are too tight for comfort. (And what is left of the refundable accommodation deposit my husband's nursing home required when he was admitted has only just been returned.)

It seems that my husband's regular notifications to the funds that his pensions were to revert to me on his death were close to meaningless, leaving me struggling with the endless paperwork the super funds now require.

There are detailed application forms to be completed — when I can get the right forms, that is.

One super fund keeps sending me the wrong form. I have rung them several times, gone through all the details again and again, only to be told that — though this has been ongoing now since well before Christmas — it will take "10 business days" before a form is likely to be sent. So I just have to wait, it seems.

That's not all. I have had to get certified copies of my husband's birth certificate, my birth certificate, our marriage certificate, his death certificate, the probate document and his will.

Next, I have had to produce evidence of my identity (just in case those certificates are not enough). So certified copies of my passport and driver's licence were required. Just as well I have them both.

(Note to self: even when I no longer want to travel or drive, keep them updated so I can always prove who I am.)

And once all that paperwork is delivered to the super funds, apparently I can't expect those pension payments to start up again any time soon.

I'm told it will take quite some weeks for their trustees to assess the situation and decide if I am truly my late husband's heir. You would imagine that super funds would be used to dealing with this situation. Surely they could have a streamlined process in place?

More blows to come

The super situation will eventually be resolved, but then another problem will have to be dealt with — the Centrelink pension.

When my husband's super pensions resume, now that I am single, I will have too much income to qualify any longer for the small aged pension.

That's okay, I'll simply tell Centrelink to stop it.

No, nothing so simple. I will have to fill in an 18-page form, complete with documentation from the super funds.

And then I'll have to make an appointment to discuss it with a Centrelink consultant. Even though I will just want the pension to stop.

Once all that is sorted, I will have to go to the bank and the utilities and the house insurance and all the rest to change the name on the accounts.

I am dreading what paperwork that will all require. At the moment, I haven't got the strength even to ask.

And then there's the cemetery. The family and I want my husband's ashes interred in the grave where his parents are buried.

But there are no records at the cemetery as to who is the "holder of right" for the grave — that is, effectively, who paid for the grave in the first place, and so has the authority to apply for the interment.

It was almost certainly my husband, but there is no paperwork to that effect. So we have to go through more complex paperwork to sort out that situation as well. Meanwhile, his ashes sit quietly in my dining room.

Some advice

Talking to other recent widows, I have discovered my situation is just par for the course.

Like me, these women are struggling with paperwork and rules and financial discomfort they never dreamed they would have to face as they confronted their grief.

Why on earth have we allowed bureaucracy to dominate our lives so heartlessly at such a painful time? I understand we have to protect against fraud, but surely we can do that without leaving vulnerable people at financial risk, and without complicating a time of grief so unnecessarily.

Bureaucracy is not likely to get streamlined, so here is some advice for anyone potentially facing this situation — or wanting to get their affairs in order "just in case":

• Obtain certified copies of original certificates, birth and marriage at this stage;
• Have ready certified copies of identity documents, passport, driver's licence, etc;
• Ensure you know where the latest will is, get a certified copy, and have the superannuation fund details ready;
• Make sure there is enough money available to tide a widow/widower over for at least several months after a death;
• And if you are contemplating an eventual burial or interment in an existing family grave, find out who the "holder of right" is, or get that sorted well in advance.

And the best of luck as you navigate this unexpected minefield.